�Well today is my first day to a new start of finding myself and kicking all those quirks I have.� I am a sensitive person, who will cry all types of tears.� Sometimes it really gets on my nerves, but there� is no controlling them when they start to flow.� On the other side of me, I am controlling to people I shouldn't have any control over, the ones I should just love and respect.� Then there is the other people in my life, who I give no control and respect, who should get it from me.
So I am on a mission to change things around.� Here goes....wish me luck!
our relationship are getting nearer and i like this~^^
but since all these happening.........there's some problem keep happening......
like now, my mother are keep talking and quarrel about me........say that i pak tor pak tor........
but the truth is not like this! i am inocense!! me and song, both of us are inocense!!
these few day....i just cant concentrate in study no matter we are in exam or not......i just cant.........cant stop thinking.......
it is sorry to let song worry about me........so i wun show out wat am i thinking........maybe he will find it out when he see this..........
after he knows tat my mum is talking about our things..........he started to keep a distance with me......
it is so weird and i just cant accept it.......
he is affraid of my mum.......and i am affraid that he will leave becoz of my mum........
i hate it!! y can my mum spoilt all my�things?!
on another hand........i am very sad and sorry.......
sorry that i din keep my promise......
i promised u that not to tell anyone but then i told my mum......i am really sorry about that.....
u must be very dissapoint�towards me........i know it.......
i know that i need to pay for the dept......the dept for not keeping the promisses......
u must be very angry.....but i know u din show it out........just like�b4 when u r angry with bao er..u din show out and just keep it in ur heart.........
i am very bad........sorry........i know after this time......u won tell me�any secret anymore.......oppurtunity knocks but once.........
i am so sorry.........
i can do nth with it.......i hope that u can�show out ur anger more than keep it in ur heart..........but i also wil affraid that u might leave me alone after�scolding me..........�
besides......i think my characteristic are going to appear.....the bad faces of mine.....
i really affraid to see the angry faces of him.....affraid he will angry and scold me....becoz that represent my useless............
he scold me becoz of my useless and stupid........
and yet, he will definately dislike me becoz of all my bad habbit or my peronality..............
i really affraid to see this happen.......
all this reason making me concern and nervous.......concern about our future(is tat really a future after all the things i did)
i dunwan to lose u.........dunwan..........
everyone is talking about me and him........say that we are couples or wat ever.......
actually.......i know......i really know tat our movement and the feelings between us really like others couple......
we made fun of each other, we hug each other, we even call each other baby like that......we stick together everyday......
all all these are the things which will happen between couples.......
but the truth is, we are not couple!!!
no doubt, we like each other very much more than anyone........
but wat we want is to be like this, we can do wat we wan........when we need hug.....we will hug each other........when we need comfort.....we comfort each other.......
we no need to cares about others.......just be like wat we want to be........
i got only him......only him to be by my side.........so i will share everything with him.......
is tat really a problem?i dun think so........
just to do wat i want.......
no matter couples or friend........as long as we r together.......right?
(for me, i think that friend can be the one who always there for u.......but not boyfriend nor girlfriend.........thats why i choose to be friend with him..............maybe this thoughts will change one day....but definately not now......^^)
hope that things will become better after all~^^
luv u~muackssss~~^^
May 9, 2008,
�
So I’m already a couple of days behind on my diary.� Not really off to a good start.� But I’m not going to give up.� I will just get back on the wagon.� I might just have to give in to the fact that I can’t do it daily.� So Crystal told me about a volunteer opportunity with the NASCAR Foundation.� She said it’s a good way to volunteer (item # 3) plus get out and network.� So I signed up to volunteer at the Telethon that they are having coming up on May.� It is held at the Sam Bass (famous NASCAR artist) Gallery.� It should be fun.� The event is in conjunction with NASCAR day.� Yesterday, I went over to Lowe’s Motor Speedway to inquire about work.� Did not have great success but I got a name of someone to call.�� We have exchanged several messages but had not connected yet.� After Lowes’s I stopped over at the Jeff Gordon School of Racing.� That was much more productive…..I actually had an interview today.� They are going to get back to me on Monday.� Keep your fingers XXX.
Life's magic is a lot like a swift flowing river. No matter how long you've overlooked it or unwittingly swam against it, the instant you stop struggling you're back in the flow, hat down low, coolest cat on the block.
In other words, your so-called "baggage," ain't no thang.��
well kinda tired right now. but i made an imvu. kinda cool but tiring too. anyways. i am tired and i'm gonna sign off. esta la vista people
i am so so so bored....i need to do something
yah i want to be off already but i'm gonna be here till probably
i'd say 6:30-ish hopefully earlier and NOT later
but i think most likely later...sux
idk going home this weekend finally haven't been there in like a while
i don't really go home that often since i'm alwayz with my boyfriend
i know thats bad but i can't help it....i like spending time with him...
he really is AWESOME...but idk
i guess i'm just gonna end this since i don't really� have much to write
and i don't know what to write really...alrighty then PEACE
that's right she's back. anyways. today was quite awesome and funny. my friend's admirer really shows that she likes her. he even sags for her. lol. my friend does not like that dude, hilarious isn't it? i know. well the whole day went the same. but er played would you rather to the extreme, we made a commercial. hey we're not weird we're creative!!!! we also through my friends backpack in the air at lunch. i call it monkey in the middle. the bad news is everything in her back pack got ripped.=[ what a dowenr don't u think. anyways, janet as you may recall that lint licker got mad at me. but who cares, she'll talk to me eventually. yo peepz i got to go, i have to watch my soap! byezzz!!! =]]
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